Creating Community Amongst Sheperdesses

OKLAHOMA CITY – Eight years ago, I found myself faced with the unique opportunity and privilege of working for and with a large group of diverse and lovely women. They each were faced with blessings and challenges, balancing family, church and work, the ups and downs of life and ministry. I knew that sometimes they felt isolated and in need of someone they could connect with, who would understand the unique challenges they faced. These were the pastors’ wives of our conference, and I was their Shepherdess leader.

My goal as their leader was to provide opportunities for them to get together and form bonds. I wanted them to not just be entertained, but to have a spiritual refreshing; a time to relax, connect and find someone they could relate to and discuss shared struggles with. We started out with the annual Shepherdess dinner during the Oklahoma camp meeting and then I offered to host a Shepherdess retreat for them to get away from their busy lives and have some refreshing of their own. I also created a picture directory of Shepherdesses and their families, including personal information about their families and their districts. One year, I shared a personal testimony with the group from a different Shepherdess each Friday; later, at camp meeting, I handed out a booklet containing all of the submitted testimonies for each Shepherdess to keep.

Slowly, over time, the ladies began to bond during the small groups and activities planned for them. We spent our retreats studying books together, like The Five Love Languages, to build communication and understanding in their marriage relationship and relationships in general. We also studied How to Win Friends and Influence People, to help them in their ministries and their interactions in their churches. During our retreats, we had worship, took walks in nature, chatted by the fireside, ate wonderful meals together, spent time bonding and fellowshipping over creative activities like painting wooden figurines and making our own personal care items using butters, oils and essential oils. We had a total of four or five retreats, missing some due to COVID-19. They were wonderful times and the ladies always looked forward to them.

We enjoyed getting together so much that at their request, our times together started to expand. Over several years, we had five well-attended group baby showers, as well as several Christmas lunches and gift exchanges.

But the day came when I knew I had achieved my goal: when different small groups of the Shepherdesses began to make plans amongst their families to get together to fellowship, planned family outings and spent time together on their own. They were supporting each other’s ministries and being an encouragement to each other.

As my ministry to them has now ended, many of them have told me how thankful they are for the opportunities I created for them to get to know one another and to find close relationships in the ministry. They said there were times they felt alone and isolated, but now they feel connected and have someone to reach out to if they are having difficulties. 

It has been my privilege to serve these pastors’ wives and to facilitate their support and friendships with one another, and to personally get to know each of them who came to the gatherings. I have been truly blessed by them, and I have loved serving them.

By Julia Shires